Powerfully transformative …

I used the grieving process to help me let go of a relationship that had been over for many years.  Sure I had “moved on with my life” but I still dreamed about my ex often and could still be triggered by news of him.  Despite all the work I had done, including therapy, something still hadn’t fully let go.  I thought that I missed “him,” our marriage, the life we had together, all we were to each other, but what I couldn’t see – the missing piece for me – was that what I was missing was what it gave to me and what it did for me. . .  it wasn’t the loss of the person; it was what I got from it.

Identifying the actual loss I was grieving – and being honest about it and being willing to go deep to find it — turned out to be the key in setting me free.  I also used the process with a subsequent relationship and I even use it to grieve the ongoing losses with my mother’s Alzheimer’s disease.  Yes, there are very real losses with this terrible disease – and of course her death will also be a real loss – but even so, I find that if I can identify what I am actually missing, it makes a huge difference in how I feel, and allows me to move through the process rather than be stuck in an unhealthy way.

2/2014 Update: My mother passed away two months ago.  We had a very close relationship and this is my first experience of a death of someone close to me, yet I am doing amazingly well. When my mom died, I was overcome with grief at the finality of the loss of her, even though I’d been losing her over the past year.  There were moments I thought the grief would overtake me; it hurt that much.  But I found that by allowing myself to feel the full brunt of all my feelings, including the nearly-overpowering waves of pain and loss that would wash over me, and by honestly identifying what losing my mom meant to me and to my sense of myself, I was able to move through the grief process very quickly – within two months — compared to close friends who have also lost their mothers in the past year.  Many of them are still in pain and I am at peace.

For those willing to undertake the difficult tasks of a) experiencing the full impact of the painful feelings of loss and b) doing the deep work of being honest about how the loss affects one’s own sense of self, the Healthy Grieving process can be powerfully transformative in moving through the pain to a place of peace where thoughts of the person bring feelings of love rather than grief.

Maury Cohen

truly revolutionary….

David has an uncanny ability to articulate deep transformation processes into straightforward worksheets. I have worked with most of David’s processes and can attest to their amazing delivery of inner awareness. His pioneering work in owning, the process of letting go, provides the foundation for Healthy Grieving. I feel very fortunate to have personally worked with David’s grieving process to experience the wonderful feeling of love and appreciation that the Healthy Grieving promises. I have also used the Healthy Grieving process in many different applications with my clients with great success. With great appreciation, I can testify to its incredible healing capabilities. It truly is revolutionary.

Peggy Lit

gave me the power to take back my life…

My mom died when I was 18 years old. I remember blaming God for taking my mother away and I used alcohol and drugs to numb my pain. Whenever life presented a triggering experience such as a wedding, I would feel devastated and become depressed. This was the way I experienced the death of my Mom throughout my life. Twenty years later, I was willing to look at the death of my mom in the grieving process with David. The results have been life changing. The huge burden of carrying around the pain and grief is gone. I can now actually remember my mother in all the good times rather than the negative experiences I was holding onto. I no longer hold myself back from experiencing my self in life by getting depressed. This process made me wish I could have done this twenty years ago. It gave me the power to take my life back, never realizing how deeply it affected my whole entire life. And, it opened the doors to a greater understanding of my self.

Jenny Germano

empowered me to take back responsibility for myself…

The transformations that I continue to undergo with The Healthy Grieving Process are nothing short of tremendous. I feel freedom in my personal truth, my voice, and most importantly in my heart. There is lightness in my body that I have never known as well as the confidence to just be myself. Because The Healthy Grieving Process is so dynamic, it has been able to help me move past self-limiting beliefs and behavior patterns that stand in the way of me living a fulfilling life. I have successfully grieved and resolved various roles that I have played throughout my life to make room for who I actually am at the core. After working with this process for only a month, I have resolved issues that I have been working on for five plus years. It has truly been the missing link to my inner work. The beauty of this healing process is that no one “did” anything to me. Instead, The Healthy Grieving Process has empowered me to take back responsibility for myself to find the answers within me in order to heal me. I have learned that all I need is with me, and I actually really feel that and understand what that means now.  David and Peggy are true teachers and guides who have given the world such a gift with this work. I don’t think I could imagine not having this work in my life now. It is making all the difference in my journey of self-growth and healing.

Karyn Seitz

a new found freedom…

I knew I had a block that was preventing me from moving forward with my Dad’s death which occurred two years ago. I had been through a lot of therapy yet I was still seeking answers and was ready to get to the core of the issue. I really was afraid I was going to be in pain the rest of my life.

As compared to traditional therapy, The Healthy Grieving process was an intentional, structured, and had an end goal. I was guided in a safe environment that allowed me to peel back the layers at a depth I have never been before. The process afforded me an avenue to explore some very painful core issues regarding my relationship with my Dad. The benefit is now I have a better relationship with him.

The Healthy Grieving process has allowed me to be more present and joyful with my family. The dread and the longing for my Dad to be around has subsided and I often feel the loving support and benevolent presence of my father’s spirit, which is so beautiful. I feel like I have wind underneath my wings with a new found freedom and an excitement for my life and all of its possibilities.

Amy Schaller

it’s amazing…

Since I had worked with the Healthy Grieving process previously on another issue, I was prepared to start the grieving process for my Dad right after his funeral. I knew I wanted to grieve him and move on with my life because I understand that holding onto things in life holds me back – grieving provides the space for me to continue to grow.

I can see how my family is still struggling with my Dad’s death six months later. This was especially evident when I went home for a family reunion. Most of the family members were anxious in their need to cling to his memory through his personal belongings. Thanks to the Healthy Grieving process, I did not feel a need to have any of his belongings because I have only great memories of my Dad that are secure within my heart. I almost sensed a feeling of freedom knowing I was in such a great place and was ready to move on with my life.

The Healthy Grieving process gets to grief at such a deep level and allows me to pull up stuff that would never have dawned on me. I feel so blessed to have this tool in my life, in so many ways, because it helps me to let go. It’s amazing.

Lorraine Ciccone

I can be totally here …

A month after my Dad died I was ready to grieve his death and move forward in my life. I clearly knew that what I had been feeling was related to an attachment that I had with my Dad and my self-identity.

The Healthy Grieving process gave me a sense of clarity so I could no longer fool myself about what I was really feeling. The process focused on exactly the key feelings that I needed to worked on. Now, I feel like I only have healthy feelings of remembrance of my Dad who passed away four months ago. I am no longer feeling sorry for myself or feeling guilty like I did a few weeks before the process. Even when I remember my Dad when he was sick, I know that he was only a human being who suffered; I am now separated from his suffering. I feel like I am in some kind of joy, a sense of freedom, and that I can be totally here.

If you are brave and open enough, The Healthy Grieving process allows you to really understand why you are feeling what you are and how to get out of the spiral of nonsense caused by the attachments. I discovered totally unexpected things about myself that helped me value myself a lot more. Now, I agree with who I am.

Gustavo Arizpe

“my miracle”…

My youngest grandson was gone; it felt like the weeping would never end. Death can come in many disguises and though my grandson is alive and living in Seattle now, the ache of separation was a familiar haunting from years ago when my first 2 children we’re kidnapped by their father and I didn’t see them for 8 years.  I spent years in therapy and thousands of dollars over that trauma as I continued to limp through life.

When I heard about, GriefFree.org and the Healthy Grieving process, I jumped in with both feet, heart and mind. I was READY to be FREE of the pain that felt like a large boulder sitting in the pit of my stomach.

David lowered me like a water bucket into the well of fresh, sparkling water of my own life. This experience was like taking my dirty car to the carwash. I went in full of crud and dirt and came out clean, lighter and restored to my original design.  I call this experience “My Miracle” because it was quick, realistic, and honorable. It accomplished in a nano second what years of therapy and a bank full of money could not do.

Thank you so much.

Patsy Levad, Denver, CO

amazing how rapidly I grieved my father…

About a year ago my father was given less than a year to live. I struggled in the beginning with it but I was able to prepare myself by doing grieving work with the Healthy Grieving process. The grieving process really supported me in all the stages of his dying because I was able to spend quality time and really enjoy my time with him. This incredible process allowed me to address what I was feeling inside so I did not shut down by numbing out and not wanting to feel the feelings. When my mother died 20 years ago I shut down; I carried the burden of my mother’s death around with me for 20 years and I felt trapped in the pain of losing her.

It was quite amazing how rapidly I grieved my father because of all the grieving work I did. Within a few days of my father’s passing I knew that I had fully grieved him. Though there was some guilt associated with grieving him so quickly, I knew that I only had fond memories of my father without any underlying heaviness.

Grieving my father gave me back a part of my self and my life. I was able to let go of being a daughter and the expectations I lived my life by as one. The gift I got from this deep work was I saw that I needed my father to save me, which is why I wanted to save him, so I could go on relying on him in my life. In the end I saved myself because I got back a part of myself that I had given away to being a daughter for 41 years.

Jenny Germano

The Healthy Grieving process was awesome…

I knew I had unresolved feelings about my mother’s death and that I was suppressing the overall meaning of her life. This was getting in the way of my work and my relationships where I was not being able to hold my own; I was living a life half-lived.

The Healthy Grieving process was awesome; it left me feeling supported which is very important to me. I am now allowing myself more conscious memories of my mother to immerge especially around cooking with my Mom – I can now acknowledge that my mother was a wonderful cook. I feel free of the competitiveness with my Mom I once had.  Recently, I looked at an old picture of my Mom in a drawer and I looked at her with compassion as I could see the fear in her face. I am feeling joyful that I can connect with her, recognizing my own fears. I feel myself melting as I say this, a feeling of joy. I recognize this more profound joy related to my mother.

The Healthy Grieving process revealed something different than I anticipated. It is a tough process but I felt encouraged and it led to my going deeper in the process. The miracle of the process is that I am allowing myself to feel more attached to the positive aspects of my relationship with my mother.

Eugenia Rossi

This is how I wanted to feel my whole life…

I remember thinking I had been living in like a B movie and now it felt like I was in a top-rated film. I felt this whole other energy in me. I knew that the sad stories were not who I am; they were just a story, a tape, something that likes to feed on its own pain, but it’s not really true, it’s not really me, I can make a different choice, those stories are not the truth of who I am.     Read More…

Anonymous upon request

brought me healing and understanding like nothing else…

I have tried many different forms of therapies – individual counseling, support groups, yoga, meditation, and even shamanic practices – to alleviate my grief. All of these things have brought me comfort and insight, but the Healthy Grieving Process has brought me healing and understanding like nothing else.

The Healthy Grieving Process provides me tangible tools to probe into the depths of my grief in order to explore my pain, not run from it. The more I work with the process, the more whole and free I become l as my grief becomes integrated into who I am. I am learning how to live from and listen to my heart, which is opening new doors in my career, my relationships, and my own self-awareness.

Lauren Cooper

it released me from my own suffering…

David’s grieving process taught me that I am the cause of my own mental suffering.  I realized by not doing the work on grieving that I can hide behind the grief and not look at myself to see what is really going on.  Then I can blame the person or situation for my pain and suffering.  This grieving process taught me how to be brutally honest with myself about the meaning and projecting I put on the person or situation.  It showed me how I was using them to fill me.  What I was lacking within myself is what I was looking for outside of myself.  Once I learned what I am projecting onto them, then I can learn to give that back to me and take care of myself instead of depending on someone or something else to complete me.  The hardest part of the process is seeing myself and owning my own experiences as me.

This grieving process has changed my life.  The process has allowed me to see how I have been running from my life and not wanting to see who I am.  It released me from my own suffering.  This process is the greatest gift I have given to myself.  I still use this to this day.

Carol Osepowicz

It is like I am born again…

I went through the Healthy Grieving process the day of my mother’s passing. I had the courage to do it because I knew it would help me resolve the pain I was feeling.  Not only did it let go of the pain, but it helped me have clarity about everything that was happening around her death, Without doing the process, I could never had talked at my mother’s funeral and been able to cope with all the emotional turmoil that was happening around me.

The Healthy Grieving process allowed me to have a deep appreciation for my Mom.  I can now completely understand her life and why it was the way it was.  I have an acceptance of her and her life that I have never felt before.  I see, feel and know the gift she was to me.  I have a sense of clarity I have never experience before.  I feel so huge, so spacious and full of possibilities. It all feels new, clean and fresh, like a blooming flower.  It is like I am born again, having given birth to my own self.

Healthy Grieving is a simple, yet direct process which allows for very quick and effective healing to take place. The gift of the healing process was that it healed the relationship with my mother and left a deep loving awareness of my Mom and her life. What a wonderful gift I gave to myself and my Mom.

Penny Steinkamp

I am literally blown away by what this work revealed…

I feel so happy and grateful that I got to experience the victim process and the Healthy Grieving process, and I want to encourage anyone struggling like I was, especially struggling with a difficult past, to do this work. I would have told you that I was not a victim, and yet I actually subtly blamed everything in my life on my mom and my past. Eventually you have to forgive and move on. I thought I had, but I found out I really hadn’t. I thought I was a pillar of strength but I was just blaming everything wrong in my life on my mom, yet truly not aware that I was doing that.

I am literally blown away by what this work revealed, and at how much I had been carrying for so long. This work has been life changing for me. If anyone can experience even a small portion of what has changed my life, I would like to help them do it; and I hope by sharing my story, someone else will benefit like I did.  Read her story…

somehow it got magically released…

“I used the process to grieve not having the chance to say goodbye to my grandfather who died when I was 13. I missed the chance to say goodbye because I went to a friend’s sleepover instead. What is so interesting and enlightening about Healthy Grieving process is that I really had no idea that bundled in with the feeling of regret that I missed saying goodbye was a belief that I could not trust myself or my own decision making as a result of that night. I had no idea how much that underlying belief affected my day-to-day life. Somehow, with the Healthy Grieving process, I was able to let it all go — guilt over my decision, judging myself for how I reacted to his death and wondering what was wrong with me, missing saying goodbye, and the big issue of not trusting myself and my choices. Somehow it all got magically released and I am at peace. I cried like crazy going through the process, but you do come out the other end –and now I feel way different.”

Anonymous upon request

grateful beyond words..

I have used David’s grieving process for a divorce, a life style change, and most recently for my cat Wims, that I had to give away. I used the grieving process for Wims because I realized that I was in denial of my feelings of letting her go.  The organization of the grieving process is a big part of the gift. It helped me on a step by step basis in showing me what was really underneath giving my cat away. I came away with a profound realization that as long as I have a living being in my space, I have a purpose in my life. Without this living being, I am lost and empty; I have no identity. From my work with the grieving process, I can now have the experience of my self without the need of another person or pet in my space to show me that I exist.

This process has taught me to turn inward to see my own value; I don’t need something outside myself to prove it anymore. The transformational gift of this process is the ability to feel the pain within and come out the other side as growth. I realize that life is always on the other side.

I am grateful beyond words for this grieving process as it has been instrumental in who I have become.

Valerie Hale

the process was incredibly helpful and empowering…

I used the grieving process when I had to give up my dog for adoption. It felt right that I needed to grieve my dog to move on in my life. The process got rid of all my sadness and allowed me to be more open to giving her away. I realized through the process that what I was really letting go was my childhood and growing up. By doing the process, I felt a pretty big weight was lifted off my chest. I was a lot more relaxed and happy with my dog about her leaving and never seeing her again. Now, I only remember the happy memories and don’t dwell on the part that I had to give her away. As I look back, the process was incredibly helpful and empowering: I realized that I can change and be the one to take the weight off my chest. I am really glad I did the process.

Marleigh Sizemore (age 15)

it feels exciting, invigorating, and healthy…

My parents have been dead for a long time. I have known my whole life that I have always been lost to myself because of all my parent’s problems. Since their death, I have hung onto the things I did not get from my parents: security, stability, and knowing somebody was there for me. I felt this big emptiness inside me and a longing to feel that they cared for me. I kept holding these thoughts in my mind over the years thinking that would actually replace somebody caring for me.

The Healthy Grieving process, in a flash of illumination and clarity, got to the core of where my thinking needed to change in order for me to move on in my life. I have stopped all the wallowing and grief tied to the past. I am still scared of being the person who doesn’t give their power away to fantasies, wishes, and desires; things that can never be what they were. And now, I realize all the stuff about my parents was really about my self identity of needing to be needed. The grieving process is pretty incredible. I have gained the courage to let go of the past and the freedom to start creating my own life. I am connecting to people in a whole new way; it feels exciting, invigorating, and healthy.

Donna Jacobs

unhealthy grief was holding me back

“I used the Healthy Grieving process to let go of an attachment to a house I had moved away from years ago.  I didn’t realize I was still holding on, but when I saw ‘loss of a home” on the list of possible applications for the Healthy Grieving process, it kind of jumped out at me and I knew immediately that it was something I needed to look at.  We have been living in our new state for many years but we told ourselves we couldn’t afford to buy a home here so we just kept renting, but finances turned out not to be the real issue.  When I did the Healthy Grieving process, I discovered that under the story of the beloved house that I had left behind  was the belief that that house was as good as it could — or would — ever get for me. The underlying issue wasn’t the loss of the “perfect house;” it was a limitation on what I believed was possible for me and my life.  I know the Healthy Grieving process really works because within a week of completing the worksheet and letting go of the loss I’d been holding onto, my husband and I were out looking at houses, finding many in our price range that we liked, and even making offers.  Update January 2015 – I am writing this from my new home! How about that?!  Three months to manifestation of a dream I have had for seven years.  I give credit to the GriefFree process…I didn’t even realize how unhealthy grief was holding me back!

Anonymous upon request.